Her father pays child support, but did not request any visitation rights. I don't want to, because he is so irresponsible, and what if he doesn't give them back. If you're nervous about this, you can go to court and seek a temporary order permitting this. If he won't agree, you have to go back to court. I don't think it would be a good idea to try to end all visitations. Now he wants the visitation agreed upon in our divorce, but not with him- he wants her to go to his mom's house to visit for the holidays. Do I still let him get her whenever he wants, or does he lose visitation if he doesnât get her on his Thursday at 5:30 pm? Anna's Question: My 2 children (ages 10 and 5) live with me and I share legal custody with my ex-husband. Can I control visitation if we don't have custody orders? I do not think it is healthy for them to be staying with another woman that is not their mother. No judge is going to want to send kids into a house where other kids have been removed by protective services. Monica's Question: Before our court hearing, I tried to reach an agreement with my ex but he wouldn't agree. This might help her see that your son is not the enemy. You should file as soon as possible (as soon as you have some evidence) and ask for a temporary order halting visitation. Can I still have my allowed visitation time even though we will have to sleep in my car? Rachel's Question: If I have sole physical custody, and when he has visitation, can I make it so that he has to spend that time with her and him not pawn her off on his family? In the last 2 months he has refused to get her 1 weekend, refused to pick her up Thursday and Friday for 1 weekend, and 1 weekend he didnât show up at our meeting spot. Brette's Answer: Unless you have a no contact order, you should be able to have phone calls. DOCUMENT all the threats, the Girlfriend is making, and that she is picking up your child etc. Do I have a right to know who lives at my ex's house? I have several police reports where he threatened to take my daughter and I will never see her again. Brette's Answer: It sounds like you don't have a custody order at all, so you need to file for custody. Alysa's Question: My ex-husband stays at my house on Wednesday nights so the kids don't have to go to his house (I sleep at my boyfriends). What are my kid's rights if their father hasn't seen them for 6 years? The custody and visitation schedule isn't a guideline. I sent sun-block and even sent a reminding text to his father about applying the sun-block. Your time with your children is your time. Then, if you all can be, at minimum, civil to each other, it will go a long way with how your children deal with the chaos that goes with divorce, dating, 2nd marriages, etc. Last week I got a letter basically asking for contact with my son and offering to start paying child support. When she was 6 months old, he started spending 10 hours with her at my home on one of my 2 work days. Does he have a right to know how I spend my time with the kids? Encouraging your child to lie is a concern however, but that's going to be very difficult to prove - 3 year olds are not reliable in any way. Do I have a right to know where my kids are during visitation? He pays child support but does not help me with anything else. Ann's Question: My ex is under a temporary restraining order. Ask to meet the gf, ask for whatever information makes you more comfortable with your children being in her presence (driver license/insurance if she is driving them around, full name, residing with the x?, etc). Brette's Answer: If there is no indication in the order about visitation, you're not required to do anything. I have been her primary care giver since birth, we have a parenting plan which he has gone against, but it was not lodged with the court)? Can I refuse visitation if I have sole custody of our child? Child custody or visitation disputes can have legal effects and consequences on either parent. That being said, I think it's good you've been trying to work this out. I asked my ex-husband for some basic information about his girlfriend and he told me her first name, but he would not tell me her last name or what she does for a living. Congressional leaders reach $900B coronavirus relief deal, Trump won't put aside grudges, even for good news, Cheese and red wine could boost brain health, Izzard praised for embracing feminine pronouns, Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine shots leave warehouses. Her CP causes her many medical problems and requires special care. He has told us that he wishes sometimes he was dead. Have he and your son had problems? Would a judge order me to reduce breastfeeding because of visitation? This was his weekend, but now my ex is telling me he's not giving back my children and that he's taking me to court. My husband is basically an absent father, but when he is around, he is either in a great mood, or a bully. If you and your son do not want any contact, you need to hire an attorney and go to court and present your case. Brette's Answer: It doesn't sound to me like you need to do anything. How can I protect my children from this mental abuse and not get in trouble with the visitation court order? Question: My ex and I have 50/50 custody and the children reside with me, but he regularly only takes the two oldest ones for visitation. It's up to him to go to court and ask for it. Staci's Question: My kids reside with me and my ex has every other weekend visitation. If they release a child to someone else, that is, against policy and laws. You've got to play some hard ball now. I think you'll need a Doctor to testify and provide proof of what has happened in some of these instances. I am worried because my ex's parents are trying to get their son to file for custody so they can have my son. Brette's Answer: Absolutely not, as long as everyone is comfortable with it. He has a very long abusive record, and at this point I am terrified for my kids to be with him. If you can show a pattern of him missing visits, that would be helpful. I am all for cooperating, compromising and making time for both parents, but you've been bending over backwards here and it has to stop. Amanda's Question: Both parents are legal guardians with mom being custodial for schooling purposes. Please note that my ex-husband has threatened me in the past when I tried to work with him. Plus he is willing to watch her while I work. My mother is afraid the courts will see her in a bad light if she refuses visitation rights, but I think it's best if he stops. It's a great way to help everyone ease into the situation. What legal rights do the children have? It's not up to him - it's up to the court. This also makes me wonder if she has some kind of commitment phobia, as her relationships do not seem to last long. The Texas child custody process can be a confusing, emotional, and stressful maze to navigate.his blog article is intended to help answer many of the important questions asked by my clients and potential clients such as 1) Where can a new custody case be filed? His parents have always been very good to me and my son, and actually help me with paying daycare each month. Is there any legal way to see them? The fact that you are partnered with another woman is NOT a factor. If he is not actually spending time with your daughter, then he needs to be ordered that visitation time is to be spent with him. Before Dad can leave child with a gf or other person, he must first inquire with the biomom to see if she would like to be with child on Saturday. Encourage your ex to make regular visits. He so incredibly angry all the time and is telling people that it is me who is withholding the children. When your ex shifts childcare responsibilities to someone else. Anita's Question: My husband has decided to live with another woman and their lives are filled with partying and irresponsibility. I notice a big difference in how he treats the kids (there has never been a bond between my ex and our daughter). What do I do--deny my ex-husband, or give my son a chance to see his father before his father dies? Can my girlfriend who lives with me pick them up from school? Also you might offer to take them to him and have him drop them off if this is a scheduling problem. Can he get visitation if he's on trial for child abuse? I think it would a hardship on the children to be bouncing back and forth. If, however, you feel your children are at genuine risk, or in danger, in this person's presence, then you should do what you can to enlighten the x on what you feel makes this situation less than desireable, and if need be, restrict all access to the dangerous person. What is the correct way of changing the visitation percentage? He never believed our preemie daughter has asthma or our other daughter was allergic to eggs (dr. confirmed). Thank you in advance! They are only 4 and 6. Then he might have a greater attention span when they are there and there might be more to do. I completely understand why you are uncomfortable with this situation. Try to work out a compromise for the time they spend with her. Ashley's Question: My ex and I verbally agreed on visitation for our child. Courts don't like to disturb the status quo without a very good reason, so you really need to get your ducks in a row before asking for a change. Macinzie's Question: When my ex & I split up, I suggested he have her Thursday, Friday & Saturday overnight because I work 10 hour night shifts on those nights, and figured that it was better for her to be with her father than with a babysitter while I worked. He stated that if I try to keep them for the weekend he will charge me with kidnapping. Brette's Answer: Hi Michael. Courts do not grant sole custody unless there is a legitimate reason. I feel betrayed by this woman - who basically worked her way into a life that she ultimately stole from me. In the past she would go, but now he says "no she's not mine", which I understand. He doesn't want to be involved in anything his child is doing and is not even providing insurance and making me pay and handle everything. He had his chance to get to know his child and he failed. You are required to make your child available at the times stated in the order only. It means you are supposed to find a way to cooperate and be reasonable with each other. Would he get visitation without the kids knowing him first? 3. He is threatening not to give him back. When do the visitation times begin and end? Call and ask if they have a car seat expert - most do. You really do need an attorney. Brette's Answer: Not unless your order requires you to give him the address. How do I fight back against the false accusations? Kids eat lunch in their classroom and their teacher is also present during lunch time. . My 17 year old prefers to stay with me. She goes up every other weekend and we split holidays. Brette's Answer: Neither parent must account to the other how they spend their time with the children. Big retailers buoyed by 'once in a lifetime' convergence, Struggling Americans fear stimulus won't be enough, Berkley reflects on famous 'Saved by the Bell' scene, As end nears, Trump gets doses of flattery, finality. You should talk with an attorney who can help you try to negotiate a settlement or prepare for a trial. First, if she has proof that your girlfriend has a criminal history or substance abuse problem, she can bring that up to the court and ask that she be restrained from being around your son. My ex of 3 years has visitation and is letting our son run around all hours of the night with no supervision. If your ex got counseling, he might be able to spend time with your son again. Wanda's Question: My ex often doesn't show up for visitation and doesn't call our son. Get your answers by asking now. What if my ex wants weekends in a row to get back on schedule? Do I have the right on this? As a result, if you were awarded sole custody in divorceproceedings, the court order probably included a visitation schedule so the other parent can still spend time with your child. I am concerned that my sonâs father is going to leave my son with his pregnant girlfriend while he's at work during his visitation. My decree states that I have sole legal custody in regard to the child's best interests and party's agreement. You have to be able to show how the current situation is negatively affecting your child. What can I do if his girlfriend treats our children badly? Brette's Answer: I think if I were you, I would want a child psychologist or therapist to weigh in on this. My ex (CP) drove to our meeting spot, saw my girlfriend's car and refused to even speak to her. What should I do? Sarah's Question: After being divorced for several years, my ex is just now exercising his rights to see our children on an alternating schedule of one week on and one week off. Do I continue to allow my son to go for his visits? That would be very damaging to her, to know that her father has rejected her but chose her brother. You need to ask to have a law guardian or guardian ad litem appointed to look into this situation and report back to the court. He has a son from a previous marriage who is in a special needs center in a nearby state. What can I do? Brette's Answer: No. Our daughter is special needs (she has Rett Syndrome) and sometimes she runs off, or gets really upset and throws herself on the floor. It is important however that a child is adequately cared for. You can read about the few that do here: https://www.divorcesource.com/research/dl/visitation/97may85.shtml. If you want visits to take place, keep doing what you are - offering him a safe place to see the kids. Brette's Answer: I understand your concerns, but your ex has a right to spend time with his kids and have a relationship with him. I am very picky who I have let look after my son, and I would want to know somebody pretty well before I let them take my son. What should I do before the next visitation? Going back to court is always difficult for children, but it sounds like the current situation is also difficult for everyone. The goal of the court is to keep the family unit as cohesive as possible. What are my rights to ensure her safety? I'm concerned that your son's stepmother seems to have some issues with him. Good luck. While you can ask the court to enforce the child support order, you must continue to allow the visits as scheduled. I don't understand how it can also say shared legal, since that is a contradiction. Another thing is that he wants his parents or girlfriend to pick our son up. How can I get my son back if there are no custody orders? ex refuses to take my calls. Can my ex stop visitation if I'm living with my boyfriend? Do I need written consent for an out of state vacation? I have no one to watch her and he just told me two days before my trip!!! Brette's Answer: No. Then you feel your child's pain and ache for the rejection he or she is feeling. Are high school sports in need of radical reform? I would ask you that question. Brette's Answer: When you say he has no place to live I am unclear as to whether you mean he is between apartments and is currently staying with friends, or if you mean he is completely homeless, living on the street. Brette's Answer: You should make it clear before there is an order that she doesn't want to go. And do I have to let them go? We share custody, but he won't let me see the kids unless he is there. Anne's Question: What do you do when an ex won't fulfill his visitation requirements? This difficult time will pass if everyone can have some patience. Can I request he take my other child for visits even if she isn't his? What can I do when my ex lets my son down? It can even be made into a PDF and sent to the ex's mobile device so there will be no excuse for excuses. My ex will be released from jail and I worry that his mother will allow him to see our son behind my back at her home. Reality of it is, the less you try to control your x, the less issues that will be fighting over. Actually, it's quite common for children to have problems going back and forth between parents, no matter what their age. Brette's Answer: The most common schedule would be every other weekend plus every Wednesday night for a few hours. I am the custodial parent, and I am fine with HIM driving, but I don't know or trust HER. it is his co-parenting time, but if it becomes excessive (in that he is not there 50% of the time) she may request a modification of that part of the order. Can my ex-husband’s new girlfriend really pick up our kids after school? You need to document what is happening. Does he have to visit his dad if he hasn't seen him for years? This may mean encouraging the relationship your child and the other parent have together. I called my Ex to pick up my daughter due to almost loosing a house and almost getting a divorce so that he could take my daughter for a couple of weeks so that I can get some things together of which I did. What does limited visitation at my discretion mean? Brette's Answer: Since the allegations were unfounded, that should not matter. He has also admitted to me that he lets him "taste" liquor because he thinks it is funny that he can't stand the taste. Courts generally do not suspend all visitation rights unless there is a serious emotional or physical danger to the child. solid success! His mom lives out of state and wants to pick her up and use HIS visitation as HER right to see our daughter. Also, can he pick up my daughter if neither he nor his girlfriend have a driverâs license? Ashlie's Question: Can I legally pick my kids up from their fathers sister if she has temporary legal custody if there have been no visitation right established? Also, his live-in fiancÃ© has 2 autistic children and I do not want this to impact her negatively. What is a realistic visitation schedule if he travels all the time? You should get an attorney who can help you do that. Is it considered allowing him access to his son if I let him come to my house to visit or meet in a public place? If you think that the custody dispute might cause a problem for your program, ask the parents to provide a written agreement and schedule about who will pick the child up on what days. According to our decree, he is required to carry health insurance on our kids. Brette's Answer: If I were the Law Guardian in your case, I would want to find out why she is afraid of him. What can I do if he gives her foods that trigger her allergies? If your dad has an order that gives him the right to see you, he does have the right. HE doesn't get to tell YOU how this is going to work out. I understand your anger and resentment; however people make mistakes and people change. Jennifer's Question: Can my ex modify our decree to add the no shack up clause even though I've already been living with my boyfriend for 15 months? I noticed some things that I packed for my daughter over at his uncle's house and was given the impression that the kids spent the night with him. I'm very concerned about the substance abuse issue, and this is something you definitely need to bring up in court. Brette's Answer: A judge can dictate who can be near the children, particularly if the person in question poses a threat to the well-being of the children or creates a dangerous environment. How can I enforce my scheduled visitation? Can I just refuse to let her go? At some point your son will need to confront that and deal with it. Are 3 years has visitation rights because I let him take them on his laptop weekends, or! 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